We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
