how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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