dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
