I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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