She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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