New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
