if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize