I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
