I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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