like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
third nipple confirmed
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
