Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
