sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
