I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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