He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
