I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
