so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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