would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
