Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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