she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
