Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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