sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
why is half of my head shaved?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
