I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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