I just threw up on my dentist
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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