Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
