Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just cut my nipple shaving
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
