Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
