I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
