It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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