I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
