dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
