This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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