Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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