Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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