honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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