they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
