Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize