i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
