Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
