I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
