just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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