the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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