HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You made out with two different species that night
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
