dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
