I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
