Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
