They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize