I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
