I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
