it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
