i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
