Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
