just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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