you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
