But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize