Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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