I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Oh god it's open bar.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
