I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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