I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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