Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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