Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
