i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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