Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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