I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
