Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
