You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just high enough for therapy.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize