She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize