Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
